Dealing with the “Why Are You Still Single ” Question
Do you dread the family reunions, visiting your parents or talking to friends due to that stinging question, “Why are you still single”? Is it hard to receive wedding invitations or hear about successful relationships due to envy?
One of the Seinfeld episodes involved a humorous scene between Elaine and a Rabbi where Elaine discussed her strong jealousy over George’s engagement. The Rabbi asked her, “Doesn’t it give you any joy to see your friend enter into this holiest of unions?” Elaine replied, “No , no it doesn’t. No joy, no joy whatsoever.”
Your friends and family will pick up your own attitude. If you are secure about being single, then your friends and relatives will notice that. On the other hand, if you have lots of self-doubts they may exploit the weakness inside of you. People can detect one’s own comfort level and discomfort zone and are very astute about one’s weak areas. This is particularly true about our families since they are artists at finding our achille’s heels.
Rather than trying to deceive people that you are secure when you really feel insecure, a better solution is to find that true security within yourself. Working on yourself will help you to find and learn your strengths, like yourself and feel happy within. You can still enrich your life with a relationship, but being single doesn’t have to feel like a knife in your back or that the ground is falling out from under you. If you find yourself feeling that way when you aren’t in a relationship, then that is a sign to develop yourself so you can overcome those negative emotions and feel content with your own qualities and accomplishments. Use that stabbing feeling as a message to learn how to truly feel secure and happy within yourself.
One book that is popular now is called “Living Alone and Loving It” by Barbara Feldon. The book is written by a
popular actress from the show “Get Smart” that was a huge hit in the 70s. It is a book that people find helpful going through divorce, getting through the holidays and taking a solo vacation. Ms. Feldon shares her own personal journey and how she’s learned to live alone and feel whole.