Expectations on A Date
When you are out with a date, you are usually trying to see if the person is a good match for you. How do you decide this? Do you find that you look for someone with different and complimentary qualities or seek someone that shares your same point of view or values? Be open minded as this can help you see the mystery in the person.
Dropping our expectations can help to let the person in front of you actually appear. We often draw conclusions about someone too soon. For instance, a woman may have a designer’s handbag. This doesn’t mean her whole life revolves around fashion, but you may that judgement.
Similarly a person may view someone as introverted and too quiet but after the person is comfortable they usually become much more talkative.
By looking at your expectations you can discover ideas you heard from your parents which you’ve adopted as well as assumptions your peers may have. Try to look closely at whether you hold these expectations out of habit or if these are very important traits to you. Look at some of your “must have” requirements. Are some of them superficial such as hair color? Certain preferences can be important such as one’s religious orientation or goals. Reflect deeply to see what are the superficial expectations you hold versus the more substantial values you’d like for a mate.
Remember that the more you narrow your preferences, the more you eliminate potential partners.
Keeping an opened mind also can expose you to new ideas you may have not tried. For instance, you may have thought you couldn’t connect to someone who loves horses. By having them explain to you their passion, you may see the grace, beauty and strength that your date sees in them. It doesn’t mean it has to become your hobby, but you can still develop
an appreciation. Unless you meet someone who is a clone of yourself, this will always be the case as people have different interests and it is nice to be able to share them with another person.