OUCH: Your Date Never Called You Back
It hurts if you felt a connection with your date but you didn’t get a call back from him or her. It is easy to take this as a rejection and feel a bit down and discouraged. Our confidence is hit hard and feelings of insecurity surface. What is painful is partly the thought that the feelings were the same towards you.
It is important to review your own good qualities and not take the person’s disappearance as a statement about you. People have different tastes, attractions and goals. Some people consistently look for a certain archetypal dream person and match everyone they meet to their inner image. Spend time with friends, rebuild your ego and get back into the game. Don’t judge your own self based on someone’s projections or personal preferences.
On the other hand,if you’ve gotten feedback from several people on certain qualities such as your being too jealous or being very self-centered, then it is useful to reflect on those comments.Â
The longer your dating period has been, the harder it may be to let go of the person due to the attachment. For a first date, many people expect that there’s a good chance there won’t be chemistry or enough common interests to continue to pursue something further. But if you’ve dated the person several times you may have found that your care and affection grew for your date and their rejection is a huge disappointment.
Remember that you can’t always know what’s going on in someone’s head and it’s easy to project something personal. Someone can disappear due to their own fears of intimacy, extra overtime at work or reasons that are not personal at all.
Never give up on yourself and remember that whatever you do for yourself in terms of taking classes, learning a new skill or additional reading will enhance you as well as give you increased depth.